I finally feel like I'm paddling the paddle instead of the paddle paddling me.
- Newbie Diana

Wow, you guys are having a really intellectual conversation considering the amount that you've been drinking.
- Serious Ben

Keith: Hey Zambo, I forgot your name. Sorry I splashed you there, Zambo.
Sandra: ... well I know your name because they all make fun of you, Keith.

I wasn't paying attention ... I was thinking about that Lady Gaga song.
- Keith

"Tesla was the electric Jesus!"
- Poage quoting Drunk History

Annie: Keith, what part of the stroke do you pause during the pause drill?
Keith: The pause.

Dragonboat is about two things: sportsmanship and losers suck.
- Poage

Really, it's impossible not to splash.
- Keith

Annie: Wow, I want to take my pants off but I keep forgetting I have no shorts underneath!
Ben: You really do say the darndest things sometimes.

Look at how lazy he is, he's just sitting there! Get a job, goose!
- Poage, to socialism-goose

I'm giving Keith and Kelly the power couple name of "Kelly."
-Poage

Jon chats with Poage...
Michael:  haha, i forgot to come to practice monday
me:  nice work!
Michael:  tuesday morning I was like, wait, what day is it?